The executive skill no one taught you (but everyone's judging you on)

In partnership with

When I ask executives about their leadership priorities, I hear a familiar pattern:

"I need to manage my relationship with the CEO/board better." 

"I'm working on developing my team and improving our execution."

Rarely do I hear: "I'm investing in stronger relationships with my fellow executives."

This blind spot is as common as it is costly. McKinsey research underscores the critical importance of managing sideways: upward and horizontal influence combined are over twice as important for career success and have approximately 50% more impact on business success than managing your team alone.

Turn This Blind Spot Into Your Leadership Breakthrough

It makes perfect sense why peer relationships aren't on our radar. They're rarely mentioned in job descriptions or performance reviews.  Your boss evaluates how well you manage up, your team's results reflect how you manage down, but no one explicitly holds you accountable for peer collaboration. 

This hidden leverage is precisely why peer relationships deserve your intentional focus. The dimensions of leadership that aren't being measured or immediately rewarded often hold the greatest strategic opportunities. Here's where you can differentiate yourself as a truly sophisticated executive—by strengthening the muscles others aren't exercising.

First Team Mindset

This concept of cross-functional partnership is at the heart of the "First Team" mindset I teach my clients. 

In workshops and coaching sessions, I often ask executives, "Who is your first team—the one you prioritize?" The response is typically a puzzled look, as if the answer is obvious: "The team I lead. Who else would it be?"

As an executive, your primary team isn't the one you lead—it's the executive team you're part of. Your first loyalty must be to your peers and the company's overall success, not just your functional area. When you embrace this mindset, three powerful things happen:

1. You gain perspective that transforms your decision-making

Understanding what other departments care about and what they're optimizing for allows you to see the business through multiple lenses. The sales team might be focused on closing deals this quarter. Engineering might be concerned with technical debt. Marketing might be thinking about brand consistency. This more comprehensive view enables decisions that take into account the fuller business context, not just your departmental perspective.

2. You create momentum through pre-alignment

At McKinsey, we called it "the meetings before the meeting." Understanding stakeholders' positions before formal decision-making transforms executive meetings from battlegrounds into confirmation sessions. When your leadership team moves in alignment rather than pulling in different directions, the entire company accelerates.

3. Your reputation and influence expand exponentially

How you're seen in the organization is heavily influenced by what other leaders say about you. If, for instance, peers find you difficult to work with, that perception spreads. Conversely, investing in peer relationships creates allies and advocates across the organization. This isn't about popularity—it's about effectiveness. Your ability to drive change and create impact is directly tied to how willing others are to support your vision.

I'll share the poll results in next month's issue.

And if you picked the last option... well played!

But Jess! We’re already drowning; Who has time for more meetings?!

I get it. Everyone is busy.

But how much time are you currently spending dealing with misalignments and conflicts that could have been avoided with better peer relationships? Being proactive with developing peer relationships is the classic "go slow to go fast" approach that yields dividends over time.

So, how do you strengthen these critical peer relationships when you're already stretched thin? Here are four practical approaches:

1. Make the Case for Connection 

   Approach peer relationship building with a clear, mutually-beneficial purpose. If colleagues don't immediately see how connecting with you serves their interests, they'll prioritize other demands on their time.

   Find the natural connections between your work and make them explicit. As a people leader, I might say: "Help me understand your business goals, so we can align your people strategy to support them." 

   But this applies across all functions. What's the connection between engineering and marketing? Between product and legal? Between finance and customer success? When you can articulate how your work directly supports or enhances theirs (or vice versa), you create a compelling reason for collaboration.

2. Discover Their Key Drivers

   Different executives optimize for different outcomes. Your CFO might prioritize efficiency and cost control. Your CTO might focus on technical excellence and innovation. Your CMO might emphasize brand consistency and market perception.

   The key is understanding not just what your peers care about, but why. 

   Ask questions that go beyond fun banter or polite chit-chat. For instance: 

   • What are your top priorities this quarter?

   • How do you measure success in your department?

   • What blockers or challenges keep you up at night?

   • How could my department better support yours?

3. Build Bridges Before You Need Them

   This isn't about becoming best friends (though that's a nice bonus if it happens). You’re creating a foundation of understanding and trust that makes your business collaboration more effective. You can’t do this effectively if you only reach out when you’re in need. 

   One popular tactic: schedule recurring one-on-ones with key peers, even if it's just 30 minutes every few weeks. These one-on-ones don't need to be lengthy or overly personal. The focus is intentionally on professional understanding and alignment.

4. Connect Dots Across The Organization

   Use your unique vantage point to connect dots that others might miss. When you notice an opportunity for collaboration between departments, facilitate that connection. These small acts lead to closer alignment and eventually, major leverage. Each time you share relevant insights across teams, you create a virtuous cycle where peers see concrete benefits from your relationship.

So, as you’re mapping out your pathway to excellence in your leadership role, remember this often-ignored but critical component: Create a web of strong relationships across the organization. This network will become your greatest asset, enabling you to drive change, navigate challenges, and create impact far beyond your direct sphere of influence.

Keep reading, keep leading,
Jess.

P.S. Did this issue resonate with you? Hit reply—I read every response 

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Ready to elevate your executive impact through stronger peer relationships? Schedule a free discovery session today to discuss your specific leadership challenges and explore how we can work together.

For more, follow me on LinkedIn or check out my website.

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