Why smart people do dumb things (like not peeing for 8 hours)

Hi! I have a confession: I hate exercise.I hate exercise. Without my kids as motivation to set a good example, I'd be a permanent couch potato.

I'm not alone: One executive client recently admitted to eating nothing but gummy bears and two brownies all day. Another had been "too busy" to use the bathroom. For eight hours.

We laughed about it, but here's what's flabbergasting: These aren't uninformed or irresponsible people. These are brilliant executives running successful companies. They understand cause and effect. They can articulate perfectly why sleep, food, water, and movement matter.

And yet…

And Yet We Keep Pulling Blocks

Think about your capacity to function—to think clearly, lead effectively, enjoy life—as a Jenga tower, where each block feeds into a fundamental need: sleep, food, water, movement, human connection. 

Life gets busy (isn’t it always?), and we start cutting corners by pulling blocks. Skip breakfast—pull. Hold that pee break—pull. Push bedtime back "just one more hour"—pull.

The tower wobbles but stays standing, encouraging us to continue. One more block. One more meeting. One more email.

I used to be the queen of pulling blocks. When work got stressful, McDonald's was my comfort food, and my tower seemed indestructible.

Until it wasn't.

I developed a rare inflammatory condition with excruciating pain. For the first time in my life, I couldn't ignore the connection between what I put in my body and how I felt. I’m fully recovered, but stillI literally feel the effect junk food has on my body. Each Big Mac echoes that old pain. 

The consequences were always there; I just wasn't paying attention until my tower came crashing down.

We shouldn't need a health crisis to wake us up. How many blocks can we remove before everything falls apart? Why play this game at all?

Breaking the Cycle

Don't worry—I'm not about to hit you with "10 Wellness Hacks for 2025" or whatever. You're smart. You know what to do. Instead, take this as a reminder:

Pause… and treat yourself more kindly. 

I mean this earnestly after witnessing the opposite for years. Clients have actually told me, “It's easier to break commitments to myself than to let someone else down.” Think about that for a moment. If a colleague consistently canceled plans with you, you'd stop making them. If a loved one broke their promises constantly, you'd stop trusting them. If your best friend always harshly criticized you, you would not keep them in your life. Yet we accept this behavior from ourselves all too often.

What if we flipped this tendency on its head? 

The next time you're about to pull a Jenga block, transpose yourself with your best friend, your child, someone you love fiercely and unconditionally. What would you say to them?

• "Just power through lunch, dear—that deadline won't meet itself"?

• "Sleep is for the weak—you can catch up on the weekend"?

• "Your bladder can wait—this meeting is more important"?

I'm guessing not.

The first step in doing better is interrupting that voice in our heads that prioritizes everything else above our basic needs. 

So here's my challenge to you: Pick one block—just one—that you've been casually removing from your tower. What does it look like to solidly keep in place for just this week? While long-term consistency is ideal, let’s start small—and expect ebbs and flows along the way. 

(Bonus tip: it’s easier when you’re not in it alone. Enlist an accountabili-buddy!)

Excelling in work and life isn't about how many blocks you can remove before everything falls apart. It's about building a tower strong enough to support your ambitious goals, starting with a strong foundation built with self-compassion, and the openness to try again.

More Info

Not sure where to start?

- Read: "The Body Keeps the Score" by Bessel van der Kolk

- Listen: "The Happiness Lab" podcast episode on false optimization

- “A Self-Care Checklist for Leaders” by Palena Neale on HBR

Keep reading, keep leading,
Jess

Thank you for subscribing! If you found this valuable, please share it with a friend or colleague who might find it useful, too.

For more, follow me on LinkedIn or check out my website.

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