Why your team never speaks up!

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Happy birthday to The Left-Hand Column Newsletter! 🥳

Ever feel like you're leading in the dark, unsure of what your team really thinks? You're not alone.

Over the last year, I’ve worked to shine a light on those unspoken thoughts that shape our leadership journey. Still, I’m amazed by how much wisdom lives in the margins of our conversations—in the thoughts we hold back, the questions we swallow, the observations we keep to ourselves.

For this anniversary issue, I wanted to reflect on the concept that inspired the newsletter and delve into real-world applications. To do that, I sat down with one of the foremost experts on the subject: Jeff Wetzler, author of Amazon top book of 2024 titled Ask, and mentee of the late Harvard Business School professor Chris Argyris (the originator of the left-hand column technique). Jeff has spent decades helping leaders unlock their left-hand columns and tap into the hidden wisdom around them.

I share my favorite takeaways below, but the full conversation with Jeff is well worth your time.

My favorite takeaways

🙊“Just Say it!” - Easier said than done

If you’re unfamiliar with HBS professor Chris Argyris’ left-hand column tool, here’s a quick recap: 

Draw a line down the middle of a sheet of paper. On the right side, write what was said in a challenging conversation; on the left, write unspoken thoughts and feelings. That list on the left often includes truth bombs that might have changed everything if voiced thoughtfully.

This simple technique has gained traction in business, facilitating real understanding and progress.

After reviewing hundreds of these exercises, Jeff discovered that amidst rants and random observations, people hold back insights that could transform team dynamics, spark innovation, or prevent costly missteps.

Perhaps most critically, team members carry specific observations about leaders’ blind spots, impact, or growth opportunities. This feedback, while potentially uncomfortable to hear, could catalyze your next level of leadership effectiveness.

Four main barriers keep this important information locked away in the LHC:

• Fear of negative impact: "If I say this, will it damage relationships? Will they think I'm not a team player? What if this comes back to bite me in my next review?"

• Energy drain: "I could bring this up, but then I'll have to explain it, handle follow-up questions, and probably schedule another meeting... you know what, never mind. It's not worth the effort."

• Word-search paralysis: "I know something's off here, but I can't quite put my finger on it. If I can't articulate it perfectly, maybe I should just keep quiet."

• Audience uncertainty: "They seem so busy/stressed/focused... do they really want my perspective on this? Maybe they've already thought of this and decided against it. Who am I to speak up?"

🤓 A Clever Way to Explore Your Left-Hand Column

Accessing this wisdom is a long game of building trust and cultivating safety. Jeff says, counterintuitively, the best place to start is with one’s own left-hand column. 

“Every one of us, every time we walk into a situation or meeting or conversation, is constructing a story in our left-hand column about what's going on. And once we have that story, we don't remember that we constructed that story. We just think that's how the world is.

Try challenging the stories in your own LHC by asking curiosity-sparking questions: What else might have been going on? What might I have been overlooking? How else might someone have interpreted what I saw?

Jeff suggests exploring with AI as a thought partner: Take your LHC story and input it into AI. It could be a rant, a description of an event, or anything else. Then add, "What might I be missing?" 

“Regardless of how you do it, the idea is to be reflective enough about your LHC that you reduce the grip that it has on you so that it's easier to choose your next step; share the thought in your right-hand column, or simply become curious enough to ask more questions.” 

🔑 Unlocking Your Team's Left-Hand Column

So, how do we overcome these barriers and discover the wealth of information hidden in our teams' inner thoughts? Jeff's book offers a powerful framework for doing just that. 

1. Start with Genuine Curiosity: "If we believe we already know what the other person thinks and feels—if we've already judged them to be wrong or a jerk—they're going to sense that and they're not going to share. But if we are genuinely interested in learning from them, we radiate an energy that almost invites them to share with us."

2. Make it Safe to Share: "We have to make it safe for them to tell us their truth, especially if it's a hard truth. How do we open up first before we ask them to open up? How do we radiate resilience so they can get confidence that we can handle their truth?

   Any number of identity markers—race, age, gender, formal authority—can diminish the sense of safety. We've got to work extra hard to make it safe for people to share."

3. Ask Better Questions: “'Do you have any feedback for me?' is very different than saying 'What's one thing I could do better?' The way we construct our questions has an enormous bearing on whether and how much we learn from other people."

4. Listen to Learn: Move beyond passive listening to active engagement with what's being shared. Listen with a genuine intent to learn, not respond or judge.

5. Reflect and Reconnect: When someone takes the risk to communicate, thank them and share how you’re reflecting on and processing their feedback. Be transparent about what, if anything, you intend to change. Then, check how well it aligns with what they hoped you would take away from their feedback.

This process is a marathon where each interaction matters.

🥂 Cheers to Year 2 of Left-Hand Column! 

Like many of you, I sometimes find my left-hand column brimming with the unspoken—doubts, observations, and half-formed ideas I hesitate to share. Talking with Jeff reminded me how crucial it is to not only acknowledge these but also create space for others to do the same. It's a constant practice, this uncovering of the unspoken, and I'm grateful to be on this journey with you.

Your engagement and openness have been invaluable. Thank you for reading, sharing, and sending your ideas and encouragement. I know your attention is in high demand, and I'm grateful you've chosen to join me in exploring what lives in our left-hand columns.

If you have topics or guests you’d like to see covered in future issues, please let me know! 

Here's to another year of learning together—and bringing more of our left-hand columns into the light.

Want to learn more about unlocking insights?

Jeff’s website is a wealth of information on this topic—from his book to downloadable tools and quizzes! 

Keep reading, keep leading,
Jess

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Need help putting your leadership stumbles into perspective? Schedule a free discovery session today to unlock your potential and accelerate your journey. 

For more, follow me on LinkedIn or check out my website.

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